Some of us feel disconnected and it seems that we can’t experience and feel our emotions fully… or at all. And we may feel disassociated from what’s happening, a little like we’re not really there. I am still working on this myself as I have a tendency to be quite detached too.
You have to reconnect before anything else…
If it’s the case, the techniques used in NLP and sometimes hypnotherapy may not feel like they work and it could also be the reason why some of you think you can’t be hypnotized…
If you recognize yourself here and you also feel disconnected from your life, then you need to re-learn to be here and now. Because it’s the only way to feel anything! So start now and it will greatly help you if you consider doing any sort of therapy.
Be present to fully experience life
Being present is about gently reminding you to be in the moment. We’re often on autopilot and it allows us to function… That said, it can also prevent us from experiencing what is happening. So be more and more present and then you can find balance and simply decide when you want to be.
Be Mindful
Focus on the experience and notice all there is to notice. Focus on all that your senses report.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
What do you feel?
What do you taste and smell?
Eating mindfully, for example, allows you to fully savor a meal. Pay attention to the look, smell, and texture of the food, and enjoy the taste of every bite. Take a little more time than usual as you chew and feel all the small differences. You’ll thank me for this one as it makes meals and snacks much more enjoyable!
This works with all activities and you can walk mindfully, work mindfully…
Also, try doing things differently…
Do some things differently like brushing your teeth with the other hand, updating your morning routine, trying new places, talking to new people… This stretches your mind and requires presence.
Immerse in Hobbies or Fiction
Next time you do something that you like to do, simply be really there, remove distractions, and focus all your attention on what you’re doing. It’s also the easiest way to be in the flow, a state that is not easy for us, those who disconnect from our life!
Find a great book or show and go with it, with the intention to be really present, like being part of the story, there and then with the characters. it’s another form of deep focus.
My wife is awesome at that and when reads or watches something, it’s like nothing else exists, she’s really into it. No wonder she can’t stop reading or watching once she starts. 🙂
Active Listening
Be here and now when you’re with people, aim at giving them your undivided attention, and listen to understand rather than to answer. You’ll see a big difference after a while.
Reflect
- Journaling
There are many ways to journal, you can go free flow about your life, thoughts, and feelings… Or you can write about specific aspects like what you’re grateful for, your goals, and plan for the day/week/… ahead.
Remember to be gentle with yourself, the goal is to understand and improve yourself, not to judge. So constructive criticism is fine, but don’t condemn yourself, focus on the lesson and ask yourself how you can do better next time.
- Meditation
And of course, there is the M-word. 🙂
There are ways to make it easy if you think it’s not for you. Meditating can be as simple as focusing on anything, like sounds, or body sensations… Or catching yourself when your thoughts drift and calmly bring you back to the Here and Now. Anything that brings you in the here & now is actually meditative.
There are loads of guided meditation for all tastes on Youtube and apps like Insight Timer or Calm, they’re a very easy way to start. - Contemplation
If you’re more of a religious type, immersing in prayer is a powerful experience, I see it as a meditation focusing on a Higher Authority. And of course, you’ll feel strongly when you connect with the Divine.
These activities can somehow be draining and uncomfortable at first. And I strongly encourage you to keep practicing and it will become easy and natural. You won’t want to come back to how it was before… Trust me on this one. 🙂
If you don’t listen to your body, who will?
The Mind-Body connection is not just a theory anymore and we know that the mind affects the body as much as the body affects the mind. It means that what you think has an impact on your physical health and your body has an impact on what you think.
As human beings, our intelligence is both a blessing and a curse. it’s a blessing as it allows us to have what we have: We modeled the planet to suit our needs, we’re protected by the complex societies we created, we can fly, and some of us even went to the moon…
And it’s also a curse because the social layers we added complicate everything natural and we covered our raw selves so much that most of us don’t even access it anymore. And part of this raw us is our body, sending signals about what it needs and we don’t recognize them.
So take some time and listen to your body, I recommend Yoga Niidra as it makes a wonderful pause in the day, here again, there are plenty of resources and videos on Youtube, here is a short one to start with.
Before I used to be highly disconnected from my body! And when doing a body scan (during meditation or yoga nidra), I used to mentally switch to a sort of control board in my mind. I could see a body on a screen like in a science-fiction movie and the part I’m focusing on would just highlight. 🙂
It’s better now but I reckon it still happens if I’m tired or lose focus… Going back into my cyborg me. 😀
Get more of the good stuff
- Re-read or re-watch something very funny, a scene from a movie or a book. In my case, I use scenes of Steve Martin portraying Ruprecht in the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels film. It’s not the smartest humor ever but I just cannot not laugh when watching it. 🙂
- And allow yourself to really laugh, allow it to grow and make a specific gesture or see a specific image in your mind, hear a specific sound.
Repeat, always doing the same action, seeing, or hearing the same thing, and make it as clear as you can. - Now shake it off, take a few deep breaths, and then test by simply doing the gesture, seeing the image, or hearing the sound and seeing how it makes you feel.
- If you feel to laugh, perfect, you got it and you can redo the same with memories/scenes… and other emotions you want to invoke.
- If you’re not quite there yet, practice and repeat until you get it, it’s just a matter of repetition.
Looking for the root cause?
Please do the above and see how it improves your connection with yourself. And If you’re ready for deeper work or if you want to know the cause of this issue, contact me. We can have a chat and book a session so that I’ll help you figure it out and move beyond it.
Credit
Illustration by John Hain.
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