Yesterday I’ve seen this quote below from Anthony de Mello on Facebook and it got me thinking… Since life does not always give you what you like, should you like what you get?
Will being contented help you or hinder you in your journey?
What is contentment exactly?
Let’s define what we’re discussing first and here is a great definition of contentment on vocabulary.com:
Contentment is the state of being happy and satisfied. On Thanksgiving when you think about all you are grateful for, hopefully you feel a sense of contentment.
So contentment is being OK with what you have, exactly like the shepherd in the short text above. And I believe that it’s very useful mindset to have in life.
It goes hand in hand with gratitude and you already know well that it helps a lot in living a fulfilling and happy life.
Berkeley University does interesting research in this domain if you want to dig a little.
There is this study about the effects gratitude has on the brain. And there is also this post about contentment vs happiness.
Then why does contentment have so bad press mainly in western cultures?
It’s because a lot of people feel some resistance to it. It seems to them that being contented means stagnation…
Because if you like what you have, why would you want more? Right?
What about goal-setting?
Contentment and progress are not mutually exclusive in my opinion. Remember that being happy for what you have does not prevent you from wanting more.
Imagine a child for a moment, he wants a new bike and knows that it will take him months before he has enough money to buy it.
So he saves all what he earns with the strong intention to reward himself with it as soon as he can.
But right here, right now, what do you think is best for him?
would you recommend him to enjoy his current bike in the meantime?
Or will he feel better if he lives constantly desiring and thinking about the new one?
Contentment is about the present!
What you get now is here, no matter what you think of it so it seems more useful to accept it, even if requires you to change your perspective on it…
And once you accept, you’re just one small step away from being grateful for it… is it a step you’re ready to take?
This leads me (again :)) to one to one of the presuppositions of NLP…
There is no failure only feedback.
Progress and goals are future-oriented…
it’s all about appreciating the journey because it’s all you get right now!
If it goes you way, then great, celebrate!
And if it doesn’t, there is room for improvement!
It just means that you need to keep tweaking and do something different! You may as well accept it and be grateful for this useful feedback.
It’s the reason why my NLP teacher Shawn So prefers to be grateful and thankful. He also associates contentment with this idea of stagnation.
Feel free to change the label if it’s the same for you. Just do whatever you need to keep moving forward and enjoy the ride!
Strive for what you want!
And appreciate what you have now!
And this also reminded me of a video by Gaur Gopal Das I watched a while ago. In his case, he has strong focus on relationships. I invite you to watch it as he made a joke of it. 🙂
Happiness is not about getting what you like.
Gaur Gopal Das
It has a lot to do with liking what you get.
So, as you move through life and towards your goals, make sure that you enjoy the journey!
And feel free to get in touch if you want to discuss or if there is something I can help you with.
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